“You have a great marriage,” Richie said.Richie, fourteen, has visited our home many times. There are few compliments which could top his words. And it’s true. Now if I was going to tell Richie our simple, easy great-marriage plan, this is what I would say.
For the simple part; “Do what the Bible says.” For the easy part: “Easy doesn’t exist.” However, marriage is much smoother and fulfilling when you do what the Bible says.
Here’s a Bible verse which consistently draws me when I reflect on the husband’s role in a marriage.
Ephesians 5:25 says: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Jesus died for the church—His ultimate expression of love. The application for us husbands is simply not getting our own way. Rather than taking a stand on the numerous life-decisions which fall in the category of personal choice and opinion, graciously let the final say go to your wife.
Example: What color do we paint the bedroom? Seems almost silly, yet many marriages begin their initial unraveling based on disagreements at this level of importance.
A husband must evaluate his response to these basic choices. Will you negotiate for your opinion to reign? Or will killing this desire, be your expression of love?
Additionally, we need to speak less and pray more. This can feel like dying when the men-can-fix-anything part of us feels compelled to offer a solution regarding changes we perceive our wives needs to make. Pray more; speak less.
When it seems like you are giving too much and not getting enough, reflect on the great discrepancy between what Jesus gave on the cross compared to what you can offer Him. And then let a renewed level of grace flow toward your wife.
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